What men need to hear

Photo: Shuttershock

Fathers are heroes. A father who is living his vocation shows what it means to be a fulfilled man by giving himself away in love for his wife and children. He follows the model of Jesus Christ pouring himself out for his bride, the church, and giving his life for us.

Fathers protect, provide, teach, encourage and ennoble. These are essential parts of the mission of fathers. Fathers model to their sons what it means to be a man; they are also essential to the development of their daughters’ sense of identity and their success in life. Fathers’ church attendance and active religious involvement is hugely impactful on whether their children will keep the faith when they grow up.

I turned to three experts on Catholic fatherhood to help illuminate this high calling. The first was my own husband, Nathan Bartel. Here is an excerpt from the interview that took place at our kitchen counter late one night.

“Help!” I said, “I want to write an article about fatherhood and masculinity, but I’m a woman. What do men need to hear?”

“Boys and men need to be challenged to take up real responsibility and commitment,” he said. He thinks young men today are reluctant to take on the self-giving sacrifice of fatherhood. S. Michael Craven, writing for The Christian Post, agrees: “During the colonial period in America men defined themselves by their level of community involvement and fatherhood. Marriage and fatherhood were seen as being among the highest aspirations in a man’s life. Today the highest aspirations of men seem to be career success and personal leisure.”

The second expert I called was Brian Kraut, director of marriage and family life (and of many other areas!) for the Diocese of Spokane.

“Challenge men to be fathers to a fatherless generation,” Brian Kraut told me, when I asked him what message to share with Catholic men.

With the crisis of fatherhood in our culture, so many boys and girls grow up without a biological father. As an extension of their mission of fatherhood to their own children, Catholic dads can look for ways to be a father figure for young people who don’t have one. One especially powerful part of the mission God gives fathers is to lead their children to faith. That is why the crisis of fatherhood in our culture is linked to the steep rise in atheism, as authors such as psychologist Paul Vitz have pointed out.

Brian discussed how men being father figures to fatherless children can have a big impact on their spiritual life. “Maybe God wants to use us to be that person to bring someone back to the faith,” he said.

The third expert I consulted was St. John Paul II (through his writings). He reflected on the theme of fatherhood often, such as in this passage from the 1982 encyclical on the family, Familiaris Consortio: “In revealing and reliving on earth the very fatherhood of God, a man is called upon to ensure the harmonious and united development of all the members of the family: he will perform this task by exercising generous responsibility for the life conceived under the heart of the mother, by a … commitment to education, a task he shares with his wife … and by means of the witness he gives of an adult Christian life which effectively introduces the children into the living experience of Christ and the Church.”

Many thanks to all you great Catholic men and fathers out there! You make a world of difference.

Originally posted on Northwest Catholic – June 2019

Three rules to avoid getting sucked into your screens

Photo: Shutterstock
Photo: Shuttershock

Daughter: “Mom?”

Mom (looking at iPhone): “Mmhmmm …”

Daughter: “Mom?!”

Mom (swiping finger): “Hang on. … just a minute.”

(Two minutes later …)

Daughter: “MOM!!!”

Mom (finally looking up): “What is it, honey?”

Daughter: “Can I play on the iPad?”

Mom: “No, Honey, no screen time for you right now. It’s not good for you. Go play.”

Continue reading “Three rules to avoid getting sucked into your screens”

Advent and Christmas stories to share

From left to right: Brigid's Cloak by Bryce Milligan; The Donkey's Dream by Barbara Helen Berger; Truce by Jim Murphy
From left to right: Brigid’s Cloak by Bryce Milligan; The Donkey’s Dream by Barbara Helen Berger; Truce by Jim Murphy

Every year of their childhood on the feast of St. Nicholas, December 6, my friend Rebecca’s children awoke to a stack of rectangular wrapped gifts next to their shoes. St. Nicholas always brought them books. On Christmas we celebrate the Word Made Flesh. Why not savor beautiful words from great stories during this Advent and Christmas season to prepare your heart — and the hearts of those in your family — to receive the Word with joy?

Continue reading “Advent and Christmas stories to share”

NFP Awareness Week – Hormonal Contraception Linked With Depression

July 23-July 29 is the USCCB National NFP Awareness Week. This is a great time to raise awareness about NFP in your ministry or parish.

The Pill has been correlated with higher risks of certain forms of cancer, blood clotting, and lower libido. This new study from Denmark finds its correlates with increases rates of depression, especially among teen girls. Shouldn’t they develop a way for couples to manage their fertility in a way that respects womens’ bodies and doesn’t harm their health and wellbeing? They did! It’s called NFP.

 

Grandparents are a Treasure

Photo: Shuttershock

“Tell me about your grandmother,” the director of vocations for an East Coast diocese asks the young man sitting on the other side of his desk for his initial interview at the chancery. He leans back in his chair to enjoy the response, knowing already what it will be.

“Oh, she is the most incredible woman,” the young man instantly lights up. “My grandmother is really special to me, and she is so strong in her Catholic faith. In fact, I think I owe my vocation to the priesthood to her,” he reflects. The vocations director nods knowingly. Every candidate for the priesthood that has come into his office has said the same thing.

Continue reading “Grandparents are a Treasure”

The Liturgy of the Hours in the Domestic Church

Photo: ShutterstockPhoto: Shuttershock

After turning off the lights in the kids’ rooms at nighttime, Andrew Casad and his wife, Michelle, pray their own ad hoc version of the Liturgy of the Hours’ night prayer together with their school-aged children, Miriam and Joshua. It is the last thing they do together as a family before the children go to sleep. Andrew observed that he and Michelle found, accidentally, that this family prayer ritual “can create a sense of structure.” Night prayer imparts a peaceful, calming sense of closure to the end of the day. Continue reading “The Liturgy of the Hours in the Domestic Church”

A Spirituality for Singles

One of my favorite saints was a single laywoman known for her gorgeous hair. She was independent, passionate and completely transformed by Christ. She lived a rich life full of adventure, prayer and evangelization. Mary Magdalen never married or became a nun, but she lived a joyful life that was “single-hearted” for Christ.

More Catholics are single now than ever before, following national trends of adults marrying later, or not at all. In fact, for the first time in history, more singles than married folk head households in America.
Continue reading “A Spirituality for Singles”

Faith on Fire

Come for a faith-filled and fun family retreat surrounded by the beauty of the Pacific Northwest!

Join in fellowship with others looking to deepen their faith in God. Be inspired by talks which challenge and strengthen us. Soak in the Grace that comes through celebrating the Sacraments. Look to be inspired by so many who have fully given their lives over to serving Christ and His Church.

I will be a speaker at the Faith on Fire family conference in Anacortes, WA, July 17-18, giving one talk to youth and one talk to women.

Saints Louis and Zelie Hold Open the Doors of Mercy

The marriage and family life of St. Thérèse of Lisieux’s parents invite us to practice mercy

This year in our archdiocesan Catholic schools, students have been making “Doors of Mercy” art projects. Behind brown construction-paper sets of cathedral doors, they have glued or drawn a picture of their own families. So when the door-flaps are opened, the family is revealed inside.

If we open wide the “Doors of Mercy” and look through them to see the ways we can let mercy flood in to our own marriages and our own families, what beautiful scenes of compassion, forgiveness, tenderness, presence, healing and encouragement are revealed? Celebrating the July 12 feast day of newly canonized Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, the parents of St. Thérèse of Lisieux and her four sisters (they also had four little ones who died in infancy and early childhood), can help answer that question. Continue reading “Saints Louis and Zelie Hold Open the Doors of Mercy”