The Challenges – and Blessings – of Bringing Kids to Mass

“My brother set the Advent wreath on fire.” Jennifer Fulwiler is a mom of six young children and the author of “Something Other Than God,” which chronicles her conversion from atheism to Catholicism. A year ago she invited her blog readers to share their worst experience taking children to Mass, and she received scores of stories in reply. Stories of toddler terrorism, untimely bodily emissions and utterly mortifying utterances, and yes, even a flaming Advent wreath. As I read through them, I was simultaneously reduced to helpless tears of laughter, bonded in warm and knowing camaraderie with all my fellow Catholic moms and dads in the trenches, and sighing in relief (at least my children have never run careening away from my grasp toward the altar during Mass — yet!).

Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (Matthew 19:14) Jesus dearly wants children to grow up knowing that his church is their home. They belong, and it is a gift to have the little ones present among us.

We celebrate childhood in a special way during the Christmas season, when we worship God himself incarnate as a little child. Yet for all this, we can’t deny that taking children to Mass can be challenging. Here are some tips that might help:

1. Strive for a good night’s sleep. This goes for parents just as much as for the children. Sure, you may be tempted to stay up late Saturday night to watch a movie with your spouse, but if you have anyone under age 4 coming with you to church Sunday morning, you’re going to need all your energy and stamina for the wiggle fest of worship time!

2. Children’s physical prep. Rather than counting on that post-Mass doughnut, provide a real breakfast complete with protein and good fat to prevent crazy sugar spikes and dips. (Just remember to observe the hour-long fast before Communion, if your child is going to receive. With hour-long Sunday Masses, usually this is no problem.) Also try to manage a round of potty or diaper needs just before heading out the door.

3. Try a different Mass time. Perhaps attending the early Mass might catch your little ones before their activity levels have ramped up to full gear. Maybe the Saturday evening vigil Mass would work better. With children’s development changing year to year, it’s worth experimenting every so often to see if a different Mass time at your parish is a more peaceful fit for different ages and stages.

4. Try to arrive 15 minutes early. On the (admittedly rare!) occasions when my family has managed to follow this tip, brought to my attention by Jennifer Junkin of North American Martyrs Parish in Seattle, we have found that the extra time to settle in makes for a more peaceful and prayerful Mass experience. Listen to Msgr. Eugene Morris’ excellent advice to families in his May 28, 2014, radio show “How to Go to Mass” in the Catholic Answers Live archives.

5. Church clothes. Dressing in special clothes for church (or even just a dressier pair of shoes) conveys the idea that what we do at Mass is a different and more solemn activity than what we do in our everyday routine.

6. Bring inspiring Catholic books and soft toys. Pinterest, Etsy and the Catholic mom blogosphere are full of darling felt “quiet books” and Mass books to craft or buy. These would make excellent Christmas gifting ideas for parents, grandparents or godparents! St. Brigids Academy’s Homegrown Catholics website has a great roundup of links for printables, craft, toy and book ideas for all ages to help keep “quiet in the pew.” For older kids, Magnificat publishes a great weekly kids’ Mass guide called MagnifiKid!

God bless you all. And careful lighting that Advent wreath!