Introducing the Theology of the Body

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Photo: Shutterstock

St. John Paul II’s teachings can help students navigate through cultural confusions

When classes start this fall, our Catholic students will begin their year of growing and learning surrounded by a radically revisionist culture that opposes the Christian understanding of the human person, the body and marriage.

Whether they attend public school, private school, Catholic school or home school, they need to be prepared to respectfully and clearly face the challenges of gender ideology and gender confusion. They need to be formed well to understand and handle pressures from early sexualization, rampant pornography and dismissive attitudes toward the commitment of marriage. We parents are entrusted to be the primary educators of our children, whether we send them to school or teach them ourselves.

Luckily, there is now a theological treasure that can help amid the current confusion: St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. These teachings offer a beautiful vision of our sexuality that leads to wholeness, holiness, and true freedom — exactly the opposite of the “anything goes” approach to the body, self-determination and sexuality which the culture is proposing.

The teachings of the Theology of the Body are rich and dense. There are many books, speakers, curricula and resources out there to help unpack them, and I heartily encourage further study. Here, briefly, are a few of the core concepts from the Theology of the Body that can help our children.

Many of the core concepts are found in this verse in the first account of creation in the Book of Genesis (my translation): “God created the human person in his own image; in the image of God he created the human person; male and female he created them.”

“God created”: Creation is a gift from God. Our existence, and each human life, comes from love and is destined for love. Creation is something we receive as gift, with gratitude and awe.

Cultural idea this opposes: Atheism and radical individualism — God does not exist, and we can “create” ourselves in our own image, according to our own ideas, preferences and desires.

How to help children understand the truth: Inculcate awe and wonder at the excellence of the created world around us and point back to the Creator. One of my friends takes her toddler boys on nature walks in which they marvel at the design of spider webs and fern leave patterns. “Where did this come from?” she asks them. “I didn’t create this. Did you?” “No,” they answer. “Who did?” God did, they are reminded.

“The human person”: What and who is a human person? Matter (the dust of the earth) and spirit or soul (the breath of God), integrated. Matter is good and matter matters — it is an essential part of our humanity. What we do with our body matters morally.

Cultural idea this opposes: Dualism, promoted by René Descartes and now the culturally predominant view of the human person — body and spirit are dis-integrated, and the body is way inferior. The “real me” is what I think, my mind (or spirit), which inhabits the less-important, less-relevant body like a driver in a car.

How to help children understand the truth: It starts with normal ways to teach respect for the dignity of the body that most parents do naturally: good nutrition, hygiene and self-care teach respect for the dignity of the body. But to go further, talk to your children about how your body is you just as much as your mind.

Two more key concepts follow, but they will have to wait for a later column. For now, be thinking about how you can teach your children and teens these important truths: “In his own image he created the human person” and “Male and female he created them.”

Want help from great resources? Try these:

“Have You Heard of Natural Family Planning?”

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“I just don’t feel right,” the post-partum mom told me as we waited together outside the classroom to pick up our preschoolers. She’d just had her third C-section three weeks earlier and her incision wasn’t healing well. She also shared with me that she’d had an IUD placed during the C-section. “I don’t do hormones, so this was our only option,” she said. She had three children spaced closely and her body needed a break. But she was worried and uncomfortable about what the IUD might be doing to her body, in addition to her other post-partum complications. “Have you heard of natural family planning?” I asked her. “NFP is completely healthy, with no side effects. It’s highly effective, and it’s good for your relationship as well.” She was interested and asked me to bring her more information next time we met outside the preschool door. 

With the U.S. bishops’ National NFP Awareness Week this July 21–27, it’s a great time to highlight the many health benefits of NFP. Since pharmaceutical companies and medical providers don’t gain financially from promoting NFP, it takes grassroots efforts to raise awareness about it — woman to woman, in your social circles, and within the church community. The Archdiocese of Seattle, for example, has posted a brief introduction to NFP and listed local teachers on its new Marriage and Family Life website.

All methods of NFP work by helping a couple identify and chart the woman’s signs of fertility so they can time intercourse according to their intention to achieve or avoid pregnancy. Since a woman is only able to conceive around the time of ovulation accompanied by fertile mucus, this normally translates to abstaining about five or so days out of her cycle if a couple wishes to avoid pregnancy. That’s all you do! No chemicals, hormones, barriers, devices or surgical alterations necessary!

Mystified by NFP? Here are the main categories of the most effective NFP methods and their benefits.

Sympto-thermal methods: These measure the basal body temperature shift that occurs at ovulation, as well as the presence of fertile cervical mucus. They’re taught by the Couple to Couple League and Northwest Family Services’ online SymptoPro classes, and are behind many popular apps. These are great for women who can take their temperature at around the same time every morning after a solid night’s sleep. (If you are that woman, please don’t brag to the rest of us about all that sleep.) These are also good if you want to use an app for charting instead of old-fashioned paper charts, and they’re easy to learn. These can be tricky to manage for post-partum and breastfeeding moms and night-shift workers.

Mucus-only methods: The Billings Method and Creighton Model are the two main methods here. These are good for women who can’t (or prefer not to) check temperature, or are post-partum or breastfeeding, and those who desire the medical management that Creighton can offer when paired with NaProTechnology. “NaPro” allows an NFP-literate medical provider to help diagnose and treat the underlying causes of reproductive and hormonal irregularities. These methods require more extensive training from an NFP teacher to learn.

Sympto-hormonal method: Want to use an ovulation monitor and indicator strips, skip charting, learn on your own, and pay a bit more per year for your method? Check out the Marquette Method.

While it is clearly healthier, the theological and moral reasons for using NFP and avoiding contraception rest on a view of sex that respects God’s design for life-giving, unitive love between a married couple. Seattle Auxiliary Bishop Daniel Mueggenborg gave an insightful presentation about how this vision has always clashed with the values of the culture, even in ancient times. Find his free talk from the 2019 “Joy of Life” conference at cwbn.us/news/bishop-Mueggenborg.

Do you already use NFP? Don’t be afraid to tell someone about it. Chances are, like the mom I met at my daughter’s preschool, no one else has.

Northwest Catholic – July/August 2019

What men need to hear

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Fathers are heroes. A father who is living his vocation shows what it means to be a fulfilled man by giving himself away in love for his wife and children. He follows the model of Jesus Christ pouring himself out for his bride, the church, and giving his life for us.

Fathers protect, provide, teach, encourage and ennoble. These are essential parts of the mission of fathers. Fathers model to their sons what it means to be a man; they are also essential to the development of their daughters’ sense of identity and their success in life. Fathers’ church attendance and active religious involvement is hugely impactful on whether their children will keep the faith when they grow up.

I turned to three experts on Catholic fatherhood to help illuminate this high calling. The first was my own husband, Nathan Bartel. Here is an excerpt from the interview that took place at our kitchen counter late one night.

“Help!” I said, “I want to write an article about fatherhood and masculinity, but I’m a woman. What do men need to hear?”

“Boys and men need to be challenged to take up real responsibility and commitment,” he said. He thinks young men today are reluctant to take on the self-giving sacrifice of fatherhood. S. Michael Craven, writing for The Christian Post, agrees: “During the colonial period in America men defined themselves by their level of community involvement and fatherhood. Marriage and fatherhood were seen as being among the highest aspirations in a man’s life. Today the highest aspirations of men seem to be career success and personal leisure.”

The second expert I called was Brian Kraut, director of marriage and family life (and of many other areas!) for the Diocese of Spokane.

“Challenge men to be fathers to a fatherless generation,” Brian Kraut told me, when I asked him what message to share with Catholic men.

With the crisis of fatherhood in our culture, so many boys and girls grow up without a biological father. As an extension of their mission of fatherhood to their own children, Catholic dads can look for ways to be a father figure for young people who don’t have one. One especially powerful part of the mission God gives fathers is to lead their children to faith. That is why the crisis of fatherhood in our culture is linked to the steep rise in atheism, as authors such as psychologist Paul Vitz have pointed out.

Brian discussed how men being father figures to fatherless children can have a big impact on their spiritual life. “Maybe God wants to use us to be that person to bring someone back to the faith,” he said.

The third expert I consulted was St. John Paul II (through his writings). He reflected on the theme of fatherhood often, such as in this passage from the 1982 encyclical on the family, Familiaris Consortio: “In revealing and reliving on earth the very fatherhood of God, a man is called upon to ensure the harmonious and united development of all the members of the family: he will perform this task by exercising generous responsibility for the life conceived under the heart of the mother, by a … commitment to education, a task he shares with his wife … and by means of the witness he gives of an adult Christian life which effectively introduces the children into the living experience of Christ and the Church.”

Many thanks to all you great Catholic men and fathers out there! You make a world of difference.

Originally posted on Northwest Catholic – June 2019

Obianuju Ekeocha and the ‘Feminine Genius’

Obianuju Ekeocha, a Nigerian-born biomedical scientist who speaks out for the life-affirming values of African women. Photo: Studio 24

Obianuju Ekeocha, a Nigerian-born biomedical scientist who speaks out for the life-affirming values of African women. Photo: Studio 24

“The hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of woman is being achieved in its fullness, the hour in which woman acquires in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved. That is why, at this moment when the human race is undergoing so deep a transformation, women impregnated with the spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid mankind in not falling.” – Pope St. Paul VI, Address to Women at the Close of Vatican II, December 8, 1965

Women are called to change the world and to stand up for human life. May is a wonderful month to reflect on the gift of women.

A woman is able to become a mother because she literally has “room for another” within her body. On a spiritual level, all women are called to the vocation of motherhood in the sense of nurturing humanity by making “room for another” in her heart.

Continue reading “Obianuju Ekeocha and the ‘Feminine Genius’”

8 things you can do now to prepare for a happy marriage

Practical steps to take even before you meet The One

Suppose you’re a young woman or man somewhere between the ages of 15 and 35, and you want to know what you can do now to set yourself up for a happy marriage. How do you know if someone is good “marriage material”? Are there dating behaviors that correlate with a better future marriage? If I could take you out for coffee, sit down with you for an hour and share my best advice, here’s what I’d tell you.

Continue reading “8 things you can do now to prepare for a happy marriage”

St. Joseph: A man for all seasons for marriage and family

Photo: Janis Olson
Photo: Janis Olson

“When all the land of Egypt became hungry and the people cried to Pharaoh for food, Pharaoh said to all the Egyptians: ‘Go to Joseph and do whatever he tells you.’” – Genesis 41:55

During my junior year in college, I studied abroad in Paris and prayed to meet my future husband. In particular, I implored the intercession of St. Joseph – after all, he was Our Lady’s husband, and therefore, surely, the best husband in the world! In all the beautiful cathedrals, churches and shrines I visited, there was usually a side altar dedicated to St. Joseph, and I would take my request before him. Upon returning to Gonzaga for my senior year, I met a wonderful man. Like Joseph, he was thoughtful, quiet and liked to work with his hands. He was looking forward to being a husband and father someday. A month after we began dating, his birthday came up – on March 19, the feast of St. Joseph! We did marry, and together we continue to “go to Joseph” in prayer throughout our marriage and family life.

Continue reading “St. Joseph: A man for all seasons for marriage and family”

Three rules to avoid getting sucked into your screens

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Photo: Shuttershock

Daughter: “Mom?”

Mom (looking at iPhone): “Mmhmmm …”

Daughter: “Mom?!”

Mom (swiping finger): “Hang on. … just a minute.”

(Two minutes later …)

Daughter: “MOM!!!”

Mom (finally looking up): “What is it, honey?”

Daughter: “Can I play on the iPad?”

Mom: “No, Honey, no screen time for you right now. It’s not good for you. Go play.”

Continue reading “Three rules to avoid getting sucked into your screens”

Advent and Christmas stories to share

From left to right: Brigid's Cloak by Bryce Milligan; The Donkey's Dream by Barbara Helen Berger; Truce by Jim Murphy
From left to right: Brigid’s Cloak by Bryce Milligan; The Donkey’s Dream by Barbara Helen Berger; Truce by Jim Murphy

Every year of their childhood on the feast of St. Nicholas, December 6, my friend Rebecca’s children awoke to a stack of rectangular wrapped gifts next to their shoes. St. Nicholas always brought them books. On Christmas we celebrate the Word Made Flesh. Why not savor beautiful words from great stories during this Advent and Christmas season to prepare your heart — and the hearts of those in your family — to receive the Word with joy?

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How do we rebuild trust?

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Photo: Shuttershock

Here are steps we can take, in our families and in the church

Betrayal hurts families in many ways. Extramarital affairs, financial infidelity and untreated addictions break trust between husbands and wives. Teenagers can lose their parents’ trust, and parents can also lose their children’s trust. In our church family this year, we have felt the painful sting of betrayal keenly as patterns of hierarchical cover-up of sexual abuse and clerical unchastity came to light.

The church is a wife, too. Ephesians 5:25–28 and Revelation 21:2 are examples of Scripture verses that refer to the church as the Bride of Christ. This year, we the church are in the position of a wife who realizes she has been deceived, and we are now experiencing a wide-scale sense of betrayal trauma.

Continue reading “How do we rebuild trust?”

Helping kids and teens deal with the scandal

Photo: ShutterstockThree tips for addressing clergy sex abuse and the cover-up with your children

How do we talk to our young children and teens about clergy sex abuse and the cover-up by bishops? It is good that victims’ stories are getting heard like never before. It is healthy for the church that systematic cover-up be exposed and addressed. Yet, for most Catholic families, struggling through this “summer of shame” has been a blow. Cardinal McCarrick’s double life. The Pennsylvania grand jury report. The controversy surrounding former papal nuncio Viganò’s accusations, and Pope Francis’ enigmatic response. Faith has been shaken, trust has been broken, and learning about the accounts of abuse may have caused secondary trauma for many. How do we address these difficult topics with our children? Continue reading “Helping kids and teens deal with the scandal”